“Well, Doctor Depew, so you are really here! I thought that ‘barker’ was lying.”
“What do you mean?” inquired Mr. Depew.
“Why, the ‘barker’ for this show is standing outside and inviting the crowd to ‘step up lively’ and pay ten cents for the privilege of seeing the ‘great and only Chauncey M. Depew.’”
That the royal road to learning is full of strange pitfalls is shown by some of the definitions and statements given by school-children—some of whom are well along the way. The following are bona fide samples coming under the knowledge of one teacher:
“About this time Columbus was cursing around among the West Indies.”
“Jackson’s campaign in the Valley was the greatest piece of millinery-work ever known.”
“The Valkyrie were the Choosers of the Slain, and the Valhalla the Haulers of the Slain.”
“The eldest son of the King of France is called The Dolphin.”
“The Duke of Clarence, according to his usual custom, was killed in battle.”