Timid Lady (going up the Washington Monument elevator).—“Conductor, what if the rope breaks that holds us?”
Conductor—“Oh, there are a number more attached as safety ropes.”
Timid Lady—“But if they all break, where shall we go?”
Conductor—“Oh, well, m’m, that all depends upon what kind of a life you have been living before.”
Elmer, though only a little boy, was the oldest child of an already numerous family. He was invited to go in and see a little baby sister. Asked by his mother what he thought of the baby, he said, “W’y, mama, it’s real nice. But do you think we needed it?”
Time: 2 a.m.
“Ma, I want a drink!”
“Hush, darling; turn over and go to sleep.”