“And what are you going to be, Tommy?”
“P-please,” was the halting reply, “p-please—I’m going—to be sick.”
A man who had been convicted of stealing was brought before a certain “down East” judge, well known for his tender-heartedness, to be sentenced.
“Have you ever been sentenced to imprisonment?” asked the judge, not unkindly.
“Never!” exclaimed the prisoner, suddenly bursting into tears.
“Well, well, don’t cry, my man,” said his honor consolingly; “you’re going to be now.”
The inventor of a new feeding bottle for infants sent out the following among his directions for using:
“When the baby is done drinking it must be unscrewed and laid in a cool place under the hydrant. If the baby does not thrive on fresh milk, it should be boiled.”