A Short time ago an old lady went on board Nelson’s flag-ship, the Victory. The different objects of interest were duly shown her, and on reaching the spot where the great naval hero was wounded (which is marked by a raised brass plate), the officer remarked: “Here Nelson fell.” “And no wonder!” exclaimed the old lady; “I nearly fell there myself.”
A Good Samaritan, passing an apartment-house in the small hours of the morning, noticed a man leaning limply against the doorway.
“What’s the matter?” he asked. “Drunk?”
“Yep.”
“Do you live in this house?”
“Yep.”
“Do you want me to help you upstairs?”
“Yep.”