An artist employed in repairing the properties of an old church in Belgium, being refused payment in a lump sum, was asked for details, and sent in his bill as follows:-
1. Corrected the Ten Commandments, £1 10 0
2. Embellished Pontius Pilate and put a ribbon in
his bonnet, 0 8 1
3. Put a New Tail on the Rooster of St. Peter
and mended his Comb, 0 12 0
4. Re-plumed and Gilded the Left Wing of the
Guardian Angel, 0 15 6
5. Washed the Servant of the High Priest and
put carmine on his cheek, 0 1 0
6. Renewed Heaven, adjusted two Stars, and
cleaned the Moon, 1 16 0
7. Re-animated the Flames of Purgatory and restored
Souls, 6 7 0
8. Revived the Flames of Hell, put a New Tail
on the Devil, mended his left hoof, and did
several jobs for the damned, 1 16 6
9. Re-bordering the Robe of Herod and re-adjusting
his Wig, 0 17 3
10. Put new Spotted Dashes on the Son of Tobias
and dressing on his sack 0 7 6
11. Cleaned the Ears of Balaam’s Ass and shod
him, 0 9 0
12. Put Earrings in the Ears of Sarah, 0 9 2
13. Put a New Stone in David’s Sling, enlarged
the Head of Goliath, and extended his Legs, 0 8 8
14. Decorated Noah’s Ark, 0 17 6
15. Mended the Shirt of the Prodigal Son and
cleaned his ears, 0 15 3
—P. Sylvester, Summerfield, Warham ————
Road, Croydon. £17 10 5
Shortly after two o’clock one bitter winter morning a physician drove four miles in answer to a telephone call. On his arrival the man who had summoned him said:
“Doctor, I ain’t in any particular pain, but somehow or other I’ve got a feeling that death is nigh.”
The doctor felt the man’s pulse and listened to his heart.
“Have you made your will?”
The man turned pale.