In the absence of the regularly appointed spokesman, Mr. Makinbrakes had reluctantly consented to make a presentation speech.
“Miss Higham,” he said, “unfortunately it is my—er—fortunate lot to fulfill the embarrassing—the pleasant duty of—of inflicting a few remarks upon this occasion—which is highly appreciated, I assure you, and by none more so than myself, for the reason that—in short, as I may say, it falls to my lot to convey, so to speak, the assurances of—that is, with the assurances of those to whom—to whom I have occasion to refer to—more or less—in this connection, together with the best wishes, if I may so express myself, of those who have clubbed together—who have associated themselves—not that you need anything of the kind, of course, but as a token of—as a token of—of—with which few remarks, Miss Higham, it is my—my pleasant surprise to hand you this gold watch and chain. I—I thank you.”
The reputed affinity between the Southern negro and unguarded poultry is the subject of a story told by Senator Bacon, of Georgia. An old colored man, notorious for his evil ways, after attending a revival meeting, desired to lead a better life. At a later meeting he was called up to be questioned.
“Well, Rastus,” said the revivalist, “I hope you are now trying to live a Christian life in accordance with the rules of the Church. Have you been stealing any chickens lately?”
“No, sah! I ain’t stole no chicken ob late.”
“Any turkeys or pigs?”
Rastus, grieved, replied: “No, sah!”
“I am very glad to hear that you have been doing better lately,” replied the evangelist. “Continue to lead a holy and Christian life, Rastus.”