“Sure,” replied the boy, promptly; “the missus.”
A Bishop was once traveling third-class on a branch line in Devonshire, England. At one of the stations a countryman got in. After gazing at the Bishop’s attire in a puzzled manner for some time, he ventured the remark, “Be you a curate, sir?”
“Well,” said the Bishop meditatively, “I was once.”
“A-ah,” said the rustic, a comprehensive smile overspreading his face, “the drink, I suppose?”
A celebrated parson preached a rather long sermon from the text “Thou art weighed and found wanting.” After the congregation had listened about an hour, some began to get weary and went out; others soon followed, greatly to the annoyance of the minister. Another person was about to retire when the minister stopped his sermon and said: “That’s right, gentlemen; as fast as you are weighed, pass out.”
“Here, hold my horse a minute, will you?”
“Sir! I’m a Member of Congress!”