A clever veterinary has a system all his own. When he received an overfed toy dog he would consign him to a disused brick oven, with a crust of bread, an onion and an old boot. When the dog began to gnaw the bread, the anxious mistress was informed that her darling was “doing nicely.” When it commenced operation on the onion, word was sent that the pet was “decidedly better”; but when the animal tackled the boot, my lady was gratified to hear that her precious pet was “ready to be removed.”
A lady while going downstairs to dinner had the misfortune to step slightly on the dress of a lady in front of her. The man on whose arm the former was leaning rudely said aloud so that the couple in front might hear, “Always getting in the way like Balaam’s ass!” Upon which the lady whose gown had been trodden on, turning round, replied with a sweet smile, “Pardon me, it was the angel who stood in the way and the ass which spoke.”
A number of years ago, when the former Second Assistant Secretary of State, Alvey A. Adee, was Third Assistant, an employee of the State Department was called to the ’phone.
“Will you kindly give me the name of the Third Assistant Secretary of State?” asked the voice at the other end of the wire.
“Adee.”
“A. D. what?”
“A. A. Adee.”