Apropos of vanity, Senator Root told at Yale about a politician who, the day before he was to make a certain speech, sent a forty-one-page report of it to all the papers. On page 20 appeared this paragraph: “But the hour grows late, and I must close. (No, no! Go on! Go on!)”
Two women from the country were at the circus for the first time. They were greatly taken with the menagerie. At last they came to the hippopotamus, and stood for several minutes in silent wonder, then one turned to the other and said, “My, Mandy, ain’t—he—plain?”
Senator Ingalls was always quick at retort, although he was himself a subject of some sharp shafts. Once he was attacked by Senator Eli Saulsbury, of Delaware, the second smallest State in the Union. He disposed of the whole matter by saying, “I thank the gentleman from that great State, which has three counties at low tide and two counties at high tide, for his advice.”
A young and bashful professor was frequently embarrassed by jokes his girl pupils would play on him. These jokes were so frequent that he decided to punish the next perpetrators, and the result of this decision was that two girls were detained an hour after school, and made to work some difficult problems, as punishment.
It was the custom to answer the roll-call with quotations, so the following morning, when Miss A’s name was called, she rose, and, looking straight in the professor’s eye, repeated: “With all thy faults I love thee still,” while Miss B’s quotation was: “The hours I spend with thee, dear heart, are as a string of pearls to me.”