“You must be a goose—Berry, to send me your bill—Berry, before it is due—Berry.
“Your father, the elder—Berry, would have had more sense.
“You may look very black—Berry, and feel very blue—Berry, but I don’t care a straw—Berry, for you and your bill—Berry.”
A clergyman in a Lawrence church on a recent occasion discovered, after beginning the service, that he had forgotten his notes. As it was too late to send for them, he said to his audience, by way of apology, that this morning he should have to depend upon the Lord for what he might say, but in the afternoon he would come better prepared.
An American visiting London for the first time, goaded to desperation by the incessant necessity for tips, finally entered the wash-room of his hotel, only to be faced with a large sign which read: “Please tip the basin after using.” “I’m hanged if I will!” said the Yankee, turning on his heel, “I’ll go dirty first!”
Mother could not attend church one Sunday. “But what a shame that little Mabel should have to lose the day’s lesson, and she such a bright child,” she sadly reflected. Accordingly, Mabel was sent alone. When she returned, in reply to her mother’s interrogation as to the subject of the text, she replied, “Oh, yes, mother, I know; it was ‘Don’t get scared: You’ll get the quilt.’” Questioning failed to throw any light on the matter. Some days later the mother met the pastor, who, in answer to her request for the subject of his last sermon, replied, “It was, madam, ‘Fear not: Ye shall have the Comforter.’”