One day a fussy fellow met Father Healy of Dublin by the seashore and thus accosted him: “Father Healy, I am undergoing a cure, and I take a tumbler of sea water three times a day. Now, I’ve had my full allowance to-day, but do you think I might have one, just one, tumbler more?”
Father Healy put his head on one side and looked at the ocean, lost in thought. “Well,” he said, at last, with a gravely judicial air, “I don’t think it would be missed.”
Wm. M. Evarts asked by a lady if he did not think that woman was the best judge of woman, he replied: “Not only the best judge, madam, but the best executioner.”
De Wolf Hopper was calling down a speaking-tube to the janitor of his apartment in New York. Mr. Hopper, unable to get the information he desired, finally blurted out, “Say, is there a blithering idiot at the end of this tube?” The reply came back with startling rapidity, “Not at this end, sir.”
Mrs. S.—“Surely, John, you haven’t brought anyone home to dinner?”
Mr. S.—“Sure I have. Haven’t you got anything for them?”