A citizen of Seattle who had looked upon the wine when he was no longer sure what color it was, in the course of his journey home encountered a tree protected by an iron tree-guard. Grasping the bars, he cautiously felt his way around it twice.
“Curse it!” he moaned, sinking to the ground in despair. “Locked in!”
Stanley, aged four, was one of a large family. Besides numerous sisters and brothers, there were aunts and uncles galore and many cousins. The only very young people, however, were those in his immediate household.
One Thanksgiving dinner Stanley gazed solemnly around the table for a while, and then announced, oracularly:
“My mother and the cat seem to be the only people in this whole family that have any children!”
A clergyman was being shaved by a barber, who had evidently become unnerved by the previous night’s dissipation. Finally he cut the clergyman’s chin. The latter looked up at the artist reproachfully, and said:
“You see, my man, what comes of hard drinking.”