Every employee of the Bank of England is required to sign his name in a book on his arrival in the morning, and, if late, must give the reason therefor. The chief cause of tardiness is usually fog, and the first man to arrive writes “fog” opposite his name, and those who follow write “ditto.” One day, however, the first late man gave as the reason, “wife had twins,” and twenty other late men mechanically signed “ditto” underneath.
At a dinner in Washington there was told a Scotch story of a parishioner who had strayed from his own kirk.
“Why weren’t you at the kirk on Sunday?” asked the preacher of the culprit on meeting him a day or two later.
“I was at Mr. McClellan’s kirk,” said the other.
“I don’t like you running about to strange kirks like that,” continued the minister. “Not that I object to your hearing Mr. McClellan, but I’m sure you widna like your sheep straying into strange pastures.”
“I widna care a grain, sir, if it was better grass,” responded the parishioner.