Chapter I.
The birth of Poor Robin, how he was bound Apprentice to a Saddler, and what a trick he served his Master.
Poor Robin was born in Saffron-Walden, in the county of Essex, of honest, plain parents, who brought him up not as our nice dames do now-a-days, by directing him how much he should eat, but, as the fashion was then, full fed with gross meat, so that in a few years he grew a sturdy lad; and considering his growth and manners, a man might well say better fed than taught. His father being willing he should be able to live in the world another day, bound him an apprentice to a Saddler, one who fitted poor Robin's humour to a hair; for the master loving drink, he thought it should go hard if the man likewise did not also wet his lips with it. It fortuned one time his master had brewed a barrel of beer stronger than ordinary, to the drinking of which poor Robin one night invites five or six of his comrades, who, before the next morning, drank it all up. Poor Robin to excuse himself, draws the spiggot out, and throws a pailful of small beer and two or three pails full of water under the tap, and by a wile gets a great sow into the cellar; so the next morning when his master arose all was quiet, and the sow was blamed for what the boar pig had done.
Chapter II.
How Poor Robin served his Master for sitting up late at Nights.
Poor Robin's master had gotten a custom that the man did not at all like, which was, that after he had tippled all day, sometimes till ten or eleven o'clock at night, he would then come home and fall asleep in a chair, during which time his man must not go to bed, but wait until his master awakened. Poor Robin to break him of this evil custom, one night when his master came home soundly fuddled, and falling asleep in his chair as usual; so he made a great fire, and then drew his master's legs so near thereto, that his toes touched some of the coals; which being done, he sits him down in the other corner to observe the sequel. He had not sat long till his master's shoes began to fry, whereupon he suddenly awakes, and jumps about as if he had been mad. The man all the while counterfeits himself asleep, and seemed not to awake for a good space. At last, seeming much to pity his master's misfortune, they went to bed. But never after that would his master sit up to sleep in his chair.
Chapter III.
How Poor Robin served a rich Miser.
In the same town lived a rich miser who had wealth enough to have been treasurer of the town, and wisdom answerable to a beadle of a parish. This man, fuller of faith than good works, would neither feast the poor nor relieve their wants, nor hold brotherly unity with any. Poor Robin being resolved to put a trick upon him, it being then Christmas, made it fit for his purpose; and so counterfeiting himself to be the gentleman's man, about ten or eleven o'clock at night, just when people were in bed, he calls at sundry men's doors, inviting them the next day to his master's (naming the gentleman's name) to dinner. Whereupon the next day appeared the number of two and twenty in their roast-meat apparel; but, contrary to their expectations, finding small preparations towards a dinner, they began to wonder wherefore he had invited them; the gentleman as much wondered wherefore they came. At last the truth was cleared on both sides, some laughed, and some frowned; and so they all departed home.