After I had obtainèd audience;
I thus began to give in evidence.
[The Author's Evidence against Love.]
"Most sacred Queen! and Sovereign of man's heart!
Which of the mind dost rule the better part!
First bred in heaven, and from thence, hither sent
To guide men's actions by thy regiment!
Vouchsafe a while to hear the sad complaint
Of him that Love hath long kept in restraint;
And, as to you it properly belongs,
Grant justice of my undeservèd wrongs!
It's now two years, as I remember well,
Since first this wretch, (sent from the nether hell,
To plague the world with new-found cruelties),
Under the shadow of two crystal Eyes,
Betrayed my Sense; and, as I slumbering lay,
Feloniously conveyed my heart away;
Which most unjustly he detained from me,
And exercised thereon strange tyranny.
Sometime his manner was, in sport and game,
With briars and thorns, to raze and prick the same;
Sometime with nettles of Desire to sting it;
Sometime with pincons[6] of Despair to wring it;
Sometime again, he would anoint the sore,
And heal the place that he had hurt before:
But hurtful helps! and ministered in vain!
Which servèd only to renew my pain.
For, after that, more wounds he added still;
Which piercèd deep, but had no power to kill.
Unhappy medicine! which, instead of cure,
Gives strength to make the patient more endure!
But that which was most strange of all the rest
(Myself being thus 'twixt life and death distrest),
Ofttimes, when as my pain exceeded measure,
He would persuade me that the same was pleasure;
My solemn sadness, but contentment meet;
My travail, rest; and all my sour, sweet;
My wounds, but gentle strokes: whereat he smiled,
And by these slights, my careless youth beguiled.
Thus did I fare, as one that living died,
(For greater pains, I think, hath no man tried)
Disquiet thoughts, like furies in my breast
Nourished the poison that my spirits possesst.
Now Grief, then Joy; now War, then Peace unstable,
Nought sure I had, but to be miserable.
I cannot utter all, I must confess.
Men may conceive more than they can express!
But (to be short), which cannot be excused,
With vain illusions, Love, my hope abused;
Persuading me I stood upon firm ground
When, unawares, myself on sands I found.
This is the point which most I do enforce!
That Love, without all pity or remorse,
Did suffer me to languish still in grief
Void of contentment, succour, or relief:
And when I looked my pains should be rewarded,
I did perceive, that they were nought regarded.
For why? Alas, these hapless eyes did see
Alcilia loved another more than me!
So in the end, when I expected most;
My hope, my love, and fortune thus were crost."
Proceeding further, Reason bad me stay
For the Defendant had some thing to say.
Then to the Judge, for justice, loud I cried!
And so I pausèd: and Love thus replied.
[Love's Reply to the Author.]
"Since Reason ought to lend indifferent ears
Unto both parties, and judge as truth appears;
Most gracious Lady! give me leave to speak,
And answer his Complaint, that seeks to wreak
His spite and malice on me, without cause;
In charging me to have transgressed thy laws!
Of all his follies, he imputes the blame
To me, poor Love! that nought deserves the same.
Himself it is, that hath abusèd me!
As by mine answer, shall well proved be.
Fond youth! thou knowest what I for thee effected!
Though, now, I find it little be respected.
I purged thy wit, which was before but gross.
The metal pure, I severed from the dross,
And did inspire thee with my sweetest fire
That kindled in thee Courage and Desire:
Not like unto those servile Passions
Which cumber men's imaginations
With Avarice, Ambition, and Vainglory;
Desire of things fleeting and transitory.
No base conceit, but such as Powers above
Have known and felt, I mean, th' Instinct of Love;
Which making men, all earthly things despise,
Transports them to a heavenly paradise.
Where thou complain'st of sorrows in thy heart,
Who lives on earth but therein hath his part?
Are these thy fruits? Are these thy best rewards
For all the pleasing glances, sly regards,
The sweet stol'n kisses, amorous conceits,
So many smiles, so many fair intreats,
Such kindness as Alcilia did bestow
All for my sake! as well thyself dost know?
That Love should thus be used, it is hateful!
But 'all is lost, that's done for one ungrateful.'
Where he allegeth that he was abusèd
In that he truly loving, was refusèd:
That's most untrue! and plainly may be tried.
Who never asked, could never be denied!
But he affected rather single life,
Than yoke of marriage, matching with a wife.
And most men, now, make love to none but heires[ses]
Poor love! GOD wot! that poverty empairs.
Worldly respects, Love little doth regard.
'Who loves, hath only love for his reward!'
The description of a foolhardy Lover.