[Rushworth. Historical Collections, idem.]
Pars Prima.
It is an example, so without example, that in the sunshine of the Gospel; in the midst of profession of the true religion; under a gracious King, whom all the world must acknowledge to be blemished with no vice; a man of my place and years, who has done some service in the Church and Commonwealth, so deeply laden with some furious infirmities of body, should be removed from his ordinary habitation, and, by a kind of deportation, should be thrust into one end of the Island (although I must confess into his own diocese), that I hold it fit that the reason of it should be truly understood, lest it may someways turn to the scandal of my person and calling. Which Declaration, notwithstanding, I intend not to communicate to any, but to let it lie by me privately; that it being set down impartially, whilst all things are fresh in memory, I may have recourse to it hereafter, if questions shall be made of anything contained in this Relation.
And this I hold necessary to be done, by reason of the strangeness of that, which, by way of Censure, was inflicted upon me; being then of the age of sixty-five years, encumbered with the gout, and afflicted with the stone: having lived so many years in a Place of great service, and, for ought I know, untainted in any of my actions; although my Master, King James (who resteth with GOD) had both a searching wit of his own to discover his servants, whom he put in trust, whether they took any sinister courses or not; and wanted not some suggesters about him, to make the worst of all men's actions whom they could misreport.
Yet this innocency and good fame to be overthrown in a month! and a Christian Bishop suddenly to be made fabula vulgi, to be tossed upon the tongues of friends and foes, of Protestants and Papists, of Court and Country, of English and Foreigners, must needs, in common opinion, presuppose some crime, open or secret; which, being discovered by the King, albeit not fully appearing to the world, must draw on indignation in so high a measure.
I cannot deny that the indisposition of my body kept me from Court, and thereby gave occasion to maligners to traduce me, as, "withdrawing myself from public services, and therefore misliking some courses that were taken": which abstaining, perhaps, neither pleased the King, nor the Great Man that set them on foot.
It is true, that in the turbulency of some things, I had not great invitements to draw me abroad; but to possess my soul in patience till GOD sent fairer weather. But the true ground for my abstaining from solemn and public places, was the weakness of my feet, proceeding from the gout: which disease being hereditary unto me, and having possessed me now nine years, had debilitated me more and more; so that I could not stand at all, neither could I go up or down a pair of stairs but, besides my staff, I must have the service of one at least, of my men, who were not fit to be admitted in every place where I was to come.
And although I was oft remembered by the wisest of my friends, that "I might be carried, as the old Lord Treasurer Burleigh was!" yet I did not think my service so necessary for the commonwealth, as his Lordship's, by long experience, was found to be. I did not value myself at so high a rate; but remembered that it was not the least cause of overthrow to Robert [Devereux], Earl of Essex, that he prized himself so, as if Queen Elizabeth and the Kingdom could not well have stood, if he had not supported both the one and the other.
Now for me, thus enfeebled, not with gout only, but with the stone and gravel, to wait on the King or the Council Table, was, by me, held a matter most inconvenient. In the Courts of Princes, there is little feeling of [for] the infirmities belonging to old age. They like them that be young and gallant in their actions, and in their clothes. They love not that men should stick too long in any room of greatness. Change and alteration bringeth somewhat with it; what have they to do with kerchiefs and staves, with lame or sickly men? It is certainly true, there is little compassion upon the bodily defects of any. The Scripture speaketh of "men standing before Kings." It were an uncouth sight to see the subject sit the day before the Coronation: when, on the morrow, I had work enough for the strongest man in England, being weak in my feet, and coming to Whitehall to see things in readiness against the next day. Yet, notwithstanding the stone and gout, I was not altogether an inutile servant in the King's affairs; but did all things in my house that were to be done: as in keeping the High Commission Court, doing all inferior actions conducing thereto; and despatching references from His Majesty that came thick upon me.