The men who think they can act, and try—

These are the things that make me laugh.

The hard-boiled poses in photograph,

The groom still wearing his wedding tie—

And I’ve missed of too many jokes by half!

These are the bubbles I gayly quaff

With the rank conceit of the new-born fly—

These are the things that make me laugh!

For, Heaven help me! I needs must chaff,

And people will tickle me till I die—