There was once a thief who repented to God the Most High and making good his repentance, opened himself a shop for the sale of stuffs, where he continued to trade awhile. One day, he locked his shop and went home; and in the night there came to the bazaar a cunning thief disguised in the habit of the merchant, and pulling out keys from his sleeve, said to the watchman of the market, “Light me this candle.” So the watchman took the candle and went to get a light, whilst the thief opened the shop and lit another candle he had with him. When the watchman came back, he found him seated in the shop, looking over the account books and reckoning with his fingers; nor did he leave to do thus till point of day, when he said to the man, “Fetch me a camel-driver and his camel, to carry some goods for me.” So the man fetched him a camel, and the thief took four bales of stuffs and gave them to the camel-driver, who loaded them on his beast. Then he gave the watchman two dirhems and went away after the camel-driver, the watchman the while believing him to be the owner of the shop.
Next morning, the merchant came and the watchman greeted him with blessings, because of the two dirhems, much to the surprise of the former, who knew not what he meant. When he opened his shop, he saw the droppings of the wax and the account-book lying on the floor, and looking round, found four bales of stuffs missing. So he asked the watchman what had happened and he told him what had passed in the night, whereupon the merchant bade him fetch the camel-driver and said to the latter, “Whither didst thou carry the stuffs?” “To such a wharf,” answered the driver; “and I stowed them on board such a vessel.” “Come with me thither,” said the merchant. So the camel-driver carried him to the wharf and showed him the barque and her owner. Quoth the merchant to the latter, “Whither didst thou carry the merchant and the stuff?” “To such a place,” answered the master, “where he fetched a camel-driver and setting the bales on the camel, went I know not whither.” “Fetch me the camel-driver,” said the merchant; so he fetched him and the merchant said to him, “Whither didst thou carry the bales of stuffs from the ship?” “To such a khan,” answered he. “Come thither with me and show it to me,” said the merchant.
So the camel-driver went with him to a khan at a distance from the shore, where he had set down the stuffs, and showed him the mock merchant’s magazine, which he opened and found therein his four bales untouched and unopened. The thief had laid his mantle over them; so the merchant took the bales and the cloak and delivered them to the camel-driver, who laid them on his camel; after which the merchant locked the magazine and went away with the camel-driver. On the way, he met the thief who followed him, till he had shipped the bales, when he said to him “O my brother (God have thee in His keeping!), thou hast recovered thy goods, and nought of them is lost; so give me back my cloak.” The merchant laughed and giving him back his cloak, let him go unhindered.
THE IGNORANT MAN WHO SET UP FOR A SCHOOLMASTER
There was once, among the hangers-on of the collegiate mosque, a man who knew not how to read and write and got his bread by gulling the folk. One day, he bethought him to open a school and teach children; so he got him tablets and written scrolls and hung them up in a conspicuous place. Then he enlarged his turban and sat down at the door of the school. The people, who passed by and saw his turban and the tablets and scrolls, thought he must be a very learned doctor; so they brought him their children; and he would say to this, “Write,” and to that, “Read”; and thus they taught one another.
One day, as he sat, as of wont, at the door of the school, he saw a woman coming up, with a letter in her hand, and said to himself, “This woman doubtless seeks me, that I may read her the letter she has in her hand. How shall I do with her seeing I cannot read writing?” And he would fain have gone down and fled from her; but, before he could do this, she overtook him and said to him, “Whither away?” Quoth he, “I purpose to pray the noontide-prayer and return.” “Noon is yet distant,” said she; “so read me this letter.” He took the letter and turning it upside down, fell to looking at it, now shaking his head and anon knitting his eyebrows and showing concern. Now the letter came from the woman’s husband, who was absent; and when she saw the schoolmaster do thus, she said, “Doubtless my husband is dead, and this learned man is ashamed to tell me so.” So she said to him, “O my lord, if he be dead, tell me.” But he shook his head and held his peace. Then said she, “Shall I tear my clothes?” “Tear,” answered he. “Shall I buffet my face,” asked she; and he said, “Buffet.” So she took the letter from his hand and returning home, fell a-weeping, she and her children.
One of her neighbours heard her weeping and asking what ailed her, was answered, “She hath gotten a letter, telling her that her husband is dead.” Quoth the man, “This is a lying saying; for I had a letter from him but yesterday, advising me that he is in good health and case and will be with her after ten days.” So he rose forthright and going in to her, said, “Where is the letter thou hast received?” She brought it to him, and he took it and read it; and it ran as follows, after the usual salutation, “I am well and in good health and case and will be with thee after ten days. Meanwhile, I send thee a quilt and an extinguisher.”[1] So she took the letter and returning with it to the schoolmaster, said to him, “What moved thee to deal thus with me?” And she repeated to him what her neighbour had told her of his having sent her a quilt and an extinguisher. “Thou art in the right,” answered he. “But excuse me, good woman; for I was, at the time, troubled and absent-minded and seeing the extinguisher wrapped in the quilt, thought that he was dead and they had shrouded him.” The woman, not smoking the cheat, said, “Thou art excused,” and taking the letter, went away.
THE HUSBAND AND THE PARROT
There lived once a good man who had a beautiful wife, of whom he was so passionately fond that he could scarcely bear to have her out of his sight. One day, when some particular business obliged him to leave her, he went to a place where they sold all sorts of birds. Here he purchased a parrot, which was not only highly accomplished in the art of talking, but also possessed the rare gift of telling everything that was done in its presence. The husband took it home in a cage to his wife, and begged of her to keep it in her chamber, and take great care of it during his absence. After this he set out on his journey.
On his return he did not fail to interrogate the parrot on what had passed while he was away; and the bird very expertly related a few circumstances which occasioned the husband to reprimand his wife. She supposed that some of her slaves had betrayed her, but they all assured her they were faithful, and agreed in charging the parrot with the crime. Desirous of being convinced of the truth of this matter, the wife devised a method of quieting the suspicions of her husband, and at the same time of revenging herself on the parrot, if he were the culprit. The next time the husband was absent she ordered one of her slaves during the night to turn a handmill under the bird’s cage, another to throw water over it like rain, and a third to wave a looking-glass before the parrot by the light of a candle. The slaves were employed the greater part of the night in doing what their mistress had ordered them, and succeeded to her satisfaction.