Cogia Effendi, every time he returned to his house, was in the habit of bringing a piece of liver, which his wife always gave to a common woman, placing before the Cogia leavened patties to eat when he came home in the evening. One day the Cogia said, “O wife, every day I bring home a liver: where do they all go to?” “The cat runs away with all of them,” replied the wife. Therefore the Cogia getting up, put his hatchet in the trunk and locked it up. Says his wife to the Cogia, “For fear of whom do you lock up the hatchet?” “For fear of the cat,” replied the Cogia. “What should the cat do with the hatchet?” said the wife. “Why,” replied the Cogia, “as he takes a fancy to the liver, which costs two aspres, is it not likely that he will take a fancy to the hatchet, which costs four?”
One day the Cogia, being out on a journey, encamped along with a caravan, and tied up his horse along with the others. When it was morning the Cogia could not find his horse amongst the rest, not knowing how to distinguish it; forthwith taking a bow and arrow in his hand, he said, “Men, men, I have lost my horse.” Every one laughing, took his own horse; and the Cogia looking, saw a horse which he instantly knew to be his own. Forthwith placing his right foot in the stirrup, he mounted the horse, so that his face looked to the horse’s tail. “O Cogia,” said they, “why do you mount the horse the wrong way?” “It is not my fault,” said he, “but the horse’s, for the horse is left-handed.”
One day as the Cogia was travelling in the Derbend he met a shepherd. Said the shepherd to the Cogia. “Art thou a faquir?” “Yes,” said the Cogia. Said the shepherd, “See these seven men who are lying here, they were men like you whom I killed because they could not answer questions which I asked. Now, in the first place let us come to an understanding; if you can answer my questions let us hold discourse, if not, let us say nothing.” Says the Cogia, “What may your questions be?” Said the shepherd, “The moon, when it is new, is small, afterwards it increases, until it looks like a wheel; after the fifteenth, it diminishes, and does not remain; then again, there is a little one, of the size of Hilal, which does remain. Now what becomes of the old moons?” Says the Cogia. “How is it that you don’t know a thing like that? They take those old moons and make lightning of them, have you not seen them when the heaven thunders, glittering like so many swords?” “Bravo, Fakeer,” said the shepherd. “Well art thou acquainted with the matter, I had come to the same conclusion myself.”
One day the Cogia’s wife, in order to plague the Cogia, boiled some broth exceedingly hot, brought it into the room and placed it on the table. The wife then, forgetting that it was hot, took a spoon and put some into her mouth, and, scalding herself, began to shed tears. “O, wife,” said the Cogia, “what is the matter with you; is the broth hot?” “Dear Efendy,” said the wife, “my mother, who is now dead loved broth very much; I thought of that, and wept on her account.” The Cogia thinking that what she said was truth, took a spoonful of the broth and burning his mouth began to cry and bellow. “What is the matter with you,” said his wife; “why do you cry?” Said the Cogia, “You cry because your mother is gone, but I cry because her daughter is here.”
One day a man came to the house of the Cogia and asked him to lend him his ass. “He is not at home,” replied the Cogia. But it so happened that the ass began to bray within. “O Cogia Efendy,” said the man, “you say that the ass is not at home, and there he is braying within.” “What a strange fellow you are!” said the Cogia. “You believe the ass, but will not believe a grey bearded man like me.”