Which is useful in removing

All the ills of human fate;

If there’s any glorious custom

Which our faults can dissipate,

And can casually thrust ’em

Out of sight and make us great;

It’s the plan by which we shirk

Half our matu-ti-nal work,

The glorious institution of always being late.

Barry Pain, journalist and author, following the trend of the hour, produced this amusing set of parodies.