‘I have been a tormenter the whole of my life,
But I ne’er was tormenter till I met with your wife.’
OLD WICHET AND HIS WIFE.
[This song still retains its popularity in the North of England, and, when sung with humour, never fails to elicit roars of laughter. A Scotch version may be found in Herd’s Collection, 1769, and also in Cunningham’s Songs of England and Scotland, London, 1835. We cannot venture to give an opinion as to which is the original; but the English set is of unquestionable antiquity. Our copy was obtained from Yorkshire. It has been collated with one printed at the Aldermary press, and preserved in the third volume of the Roxburgh Collection. The tune is peculiar to the song.]
O! I went into the stable, and there for to see, [206]
And there I saw three horses stand, by one, by two, and by three;
O! I called to my loving wife, and ‘Anon, kind sir!’ quoth she;
‘O! what do these three horses here, without the leave of me?’
‘Why, you old fool! blind fool! can’t you very well see,
These are three milking cows my mother sent to me?’
‘Ods bobs! well done! milking cows with saddles on!
The like was never known!’
Old Wichet a cuckold went out, and a cuckold he came home!
O! I went into the kitchen, and there for to see,
And there I saw three swords hang, by one, by two, quoth she;
O! I called to my loving wife, and ‘Anon, kind sir!’
‘O! what do these three swords do here, without the leave of me?’
‘Why, you old fool! blind fool! can’t you very well see,
These are three roasting spits my mother sent to me?’
‘Ods bobs! well done! roasting spits with scabbards on!
The like was never known!’
Old Wichet a cuckold went out, and a cuckold he came home!
O! I went into the parlour, and there for to see,
And there I saw three cloaks hang, by one, by two, and by three;
O! I called to my loving wife, and ‘Anon, kind sir!’ quoth she;
‘O! what do these three cloaks do here, without the leave of me?’
‘Why, you old fool! blind fool! can’t you very well see,
These are three mantuas my mother sent to me?’
‘Ods bobs! well done! mantuas with capes on!
The like was never known!’
Old Wichet a cuckold went out, and a cuckold he came home!
O! I went into the pantry, and there for to see,
And there I saw three pair of boots, [207] by one, by two, and by three;
O! I called to my loving wife, and ‘Anon, kind sir!’ quoth she;
‘O! what do these three pair of boots here, without the leave of me?’