NOT A NATIVE
A New York man took a run not long ago into Connecticut, to a town where he had lived as a boy.
On his native heath he accosted a venerable old chap of some eighty years, who proved to be the very person the Gothamite sought to answer certain inquiries concerning the place. As the conversation proceeded the New Yorker said:
"I suppose you have always lived around here?"
"No," said the old man, "I was born two good miles from here."
HE GOT IT TWICE
They were twins. It was bathing time and from the twins' bedroom came sounds of hearty laughter and loud crying. Their father went up to find the cause.
"What's the matter up here?" he inquired.
The laughing twin pointed to his weeping brother. "Nothing," he giggled, "only nurse has given Alexander two baths and hasn't given me any at all."