"Law, Mis' Carter, dat ain't no disease what yo' broth' got. Dat's a gif!"
NO JOQUE
The difficulties of western journalism are illustrated by the following notice from The Rocky Mountain Cyclone:
AD ASTRA PER ASPERA
We begin the publication ov the Rocy Mountain Cyclone with some phew diphiculties in the way. The type phounder phrom whom we bought our outphit phor this printing ophice phailed to supply us with any ephs or cays, and it will be phour or phive weex bephore we can get any. We have ordered the missing letters and will have to get along without them until they come. We don't lique the loox ov this variety ov spelling any better than our readers, but mistaix will happen in the best ov regulated phamilies, and iph the ephs and c's and x's and q's hold out we shall ceep (sound the c hard) the Cyclone whirling aphter a phashion till the sorts arrive. It is no joque to us, it's a serious aphair.
ELIMINATION
To meet every situation which arises, and to do it in diplomatic language, is only the gift of the elect:
"Waiter, bring me two fried eggs, some ham, a cup of coffee, and a roll," said a traveler in a city of the Middle West.
"Bring me the same," said his friend, "but eliminate the eggs."
"Yessir," said the waiter.