Mr. MacTavish attended a christening where the hospitality of the host knew no bounds except the several capacities of the guests. In the midst of the celebration Mr. MacTavish rose up and made rounds of the company, bidding each a profound farewell.
"But, Sandy, man," objected the host, "ye're not goin' yet, with the evenin' just started?"
"Nay," said the prudent MacTavish. "I'm no' goin' yet. But I'm tellin' ye good-night while I know ye all."
FULL SPEED AHEAD
He was the slowest boy on earth, and had been sacked at three places in two weeks, so his parents had apprenticed him to a naturalist. But even he found him slow. It took him two hours to give the canaries their seed, three to stick a pin through a dead butterfly, and four to pick a convolvulus. The only point about him was that he was willing.
"And what," he asked, having spent a whole afternoon changing the goldfishes' water, "shall I do now, sir?"
The naturalist ran his fingers through his locks.
"Well, Robert," he replied at length, "I think you might now take the tortoise out for a run."
PLAYING SAFE
A lady recently selecting a hat at a milliner's asked, cautiously: