SOLVING A GREAT PROBLEM
The whole Irish question, and its perfect solution—at least from one side—is summed up by the reply given by an Irishman to a professor, who, when they chanced to meet, said:
"Pat, tell me, now, what is your solution to the world problem?"
"Well, sor," replied Pat, "I think we should have a world democracy—with an Irishman for king!"
DIAGNOSED
Starting with a wonderful burst of oratory, the great evangelist had, after two hours' steady preaching, become rather hoarse.
A little boy's mother in the congregation whispered to her son, "Isn't it wonderful? What do you think of him?"
"He needs a new needle," returned the boy sleepily.
GETTING EVEN
The captain and the mate on board the Pretty Polly were at loggerheads. They scowled whenever they met, and seized opportunities of scoring off each other with fearful glee. Each took a turn at making the day's entries in the log-book, and the mate, when making his entries, was very surprised to find, in the captain's handwriting, the words: