Mrs. Williams, who had recently returned from abroad, was attending an afternoon tea which was given in her honor.
"And did you actually go to Rome?" asked the hostess.
"I really don't know, my dear," replied Mrs. Williams. "You see, my husband always bought the tickets."
AN EXPERT
"So," said the old general, "you think you would make a good valet for an old wreck like me, do you? I have a glass eye, a wooden leg, and a wax arm that need looking after, not to mention false teeth, and so forth."
"Oh, that's all right, general," replied the applicant, enthusiastically; "I've had lots of experience. I worked six years in the assembling department of a big motor-car factory."
SHE ADMITTED IT
Our ideals are often a personal matter and, after all, it is just as well to be humble about our achievements A certain woman was brought before a magistrate.
"It appears to be your record, Mary Moselle," said the magistrate, "that you have been thirty-five times convicted of stealing."
"I guess, your honor," replied Mary, "that is right. No woman is perfect."