"Where are you going, my dear?" asked his wife.
"Why, there's a fire, and I'm going to help put it out."
"Well, my love," responded Mrs. Budger, "I think the best thing you can do is to take the poker along with you."
A GET-RICH-QUICK SCHEME
Two young Irishmen in a Canadian regiment were going into the trenches for the first time, and their captain promised them five shillings each for every German they killed.
Pat lay down to rest, while Mick performed the duty of watching. Pat had not lain long when he was awakened by Mick shouting:
"They're comin'! They're comin'!"
"Who's comin'?" shouts Pat.
"The Germans," replies Mick.
"How many are there?"