"Oh, you don't know what we've got upstairs."
"What is it?" the neighbor asked.
"A new baby brother," said Doris, and she watched very closely the effect of her announcement.
"You don't say so," the neighbor exclaimed. "Is he going to stay?"
"I think so," said Doris. "He's got his things off."
COMRADES
In a trench over in Flanders, during a slight lull in the engagement, a soldier was making an impromptu toilet. He lowered his head for an instant and thereby caught a cootie. As he did so, a shell fragment flew by, just where his head had been. He held the cootie in hand meditatively for a moment, and then said:
"Old fellow, Oi cawnt give you the Victoria Cross, but I can put you back!"
COMPARISON
One of the ladies who first introduced interpretative dancing—whatever that is—into this country has fleshened up considerably since the days of her initial terpsichorean triumphs among the society folk along the eastern sea-board. Nevertheless, she continues to give performances to select audiences of artistic souls.