SERGEANT. "A champion of every cause that can legitimately benefit his fellow creatures—" Why, look here, my man, you are the very one to come to our assistance to-night.
HYACINTH. I would be glad to do that. What way can I do it?
SERGEANT. You are a newcomer—your example would carry weight—you must stand up as a living proof of the beneficial effect of a high character, moral fibre, temperance—there is something about it here I am sure—(Looks.) I am sure I saw "unparalleled temperance" in some place——
HYACINTH. It was my mother's cousin wrote that—I am no drinker, but I haven't the pledge taken——
SERGEANT. You might take it for the purpose.
MR. QUIRKE. [Eagerly.] Here is an antitreating button. I was made a present of it by one of my customers—I'll give it to you [sticks it in Hyacinth's coat] and welcome.
SERGEANT. That is it. You can wear the button on the platform—or a bit of blue ribbon—hundreds will follow your example—I know the boys from the Workhouse will——
HYACINTH. I am in no way wishful to be an example——
SERGEANT. I will read extracts from the testimonials. "There he is," I will say, "an example of one in early life who by his own unaided efforts and his high character has obtained a profitable situation." [Slaps his side.] I know what I'll do. I'll engage a few corner-boys from Noonan's bar, just as they are, greasy and sodden, to stand in a group—there will be the contrast—the sight will deter others from a similar fate—that's the way to do a tableau—I knew I could turn out a success.
HYACINTH. I wouldn't like to be a contrast——