FARDY. Didn't he miss the sheep?
HYACINTH. He did, and I told him it was I took it—and what happened I declare to goodness I don't know—Will you look at these?
[Holds out notes.
FARDY. Papers! Are they more testimonials?
HYACINTH. They are what is worse. [Gives a hoarse laugh.] Will you come and see me on the platform—these in my hand—and I speaking—giving out advice. [Fardy whistles.] Why didn't you tell me, the time you advised me to steal a sheep, that in this town it would qualify a man to go preaching, and the priest in the chair looking on?
FARDY. The time I took a few apples that had fallen off a stall, they did not ask me to hold a meeting. They welted me well.
HYACINTH. [Looking round.] I would take apples if I could see them. I wish I had broke my neck before I left Carrow, and I'd be better off! I wish I had got six months the time I was caught setting snares—I wish I had robbed a church.
FARDY. Would a Protestant church do?
HYACINTH. I suppose it wouldn't be so great a sin.
FARDY. It's likely the sergeant would think worse of it. Anyway, if you want to rob one, it's the Protestant church is the handiest.