ABBREVIATION
I remember a lesson in brevity I once received in a barber’s shop. An Irishman came in, and the unsteady gait with which he approached the chair showed that he had been imbibing of the produce of the still run by North Carolina moonshiners. He wanted his hair cut, and while the barber was getting him ready, went off into a drunken sleep. His head got bobbing from one side to the other, and at length the barber, in making a snip, cut off the lower part of his ear. The barber jumped about and howled, and a crowd of neighbors rushed in. Finally, the demonstration became so great that it began to attract the attention of the man in the chair, and he opened one eye and said, “Wh-wh-at’s the matther wid yez?” “Good Lord!” said the barber, “I’ve cut off the whole lower part of your ear.” “Have yez? Ah, thin, go on wid yer bizness—it was too long, anyhow!”—Horace Porter.
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ABDICATION
“Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown.” If men who are obscure and quiet and tempted to envy the glory of kings they might profitably meditate on the speech that Shakespeare puts into the mouth of Richard II while he abandons his crown:
I give this heavy weight from off my head
And this unwieldy scepter from my hand,
The pride of kingly sway from out my heart;
With mine own tears I wash away my value,
With mine own hands I give away my crown,