T. Tuts man ye’re takin’ the very warst look o’ the thing ye can tak’; its weel enough kent there’s mony a ane tak’s a bit suck that disna drive themsel’s to thae extremities ye talk about, our Ministers, and Elders, and Magistrates, and Councillors too; indeed, the maist o’ folk that reckon themsel’s upish can a’ tak’ their moderate dram and no rin to excess.
J. Their moderate dram! dinna tell me about moderate drams, I ken baith Ministers, and Elders, and Magistrates too, that hae gaen far aglee wi’ their moderation, but independent o’ a’ that, is’t no a shamfu’ bad example they set before workin’ folk, (for poor folk maun aye be imitating the rich if they can ava) to drink thae drinks that destroy sae muckle o’ our grain in times like this, when poor folk’s starvin’; every half mutchin ye drink, Thomas, believe me or no as ye like, destroys as muckle gude food as wad mak’ a comfortable meal to a gude big family, and I’m creditably informed that there is as much destroyed in one distillery every morning as wad breakfast the hale town o’ Paisley.
T. Hoot, nonsense, John ye’re surely gaun out o’t noo athegither, I never dream’t o’ ony thing like that, ye wad maist fricht a body frae ever tasting a drap again; if that was the case ye wad think the hale kintra wad rise up in a mass against it, our legislators wad stop distillation, and our magistrates wad grant nae mae licenses. Hoot toot John, ye’re surly far wrang.
J. No, tweel awat Thomas, I’m nane wrang, for if there was nane o’ the drunkard’s drink drucken, every inhabitant in Scotland micht hae sax pound o’ bread every week they hinna, and that’s but ae portion o’ the evil that springs frae that curse; look to the misery and madness, the woes and wretchedness, that it produces; we’re tax’d to a pretty degree even noo to support prisons like bastiles, whereas if we wad a’ drap drinking, a three-storey house wad ha’d a’ the criminals in a kintra side.
T. Altho’ there a wheen fools that mak’ themsel’s idiots wi’ drinkin’, we’re no a’ to be blamed wi’t; there’s mony a decent respectable minister and magistrate baith that tak’ their dram, and disna fill themsel’s fou, and if folk wad only imitate their example there wad be nae great fear o’ gaun wrang.
J. Ah, Thomas, Thomas, but it is a bad example. Scripture aye approves o’ them that tak’ nae drink, and I could gie ye plenty o’ instances o’t if you and I had time; and to finish the whole story, it declares to you, in Habakuk, in plain terms no to be misunderstood, “Woe to him that giveth his neighbour drink.” The beginning to drink is something like beginning to smoke or snuff, it is fun at first, but truly it often grows earnest, as we mony a time see; and I think, for my part, it’s far better to let it alane athegither; and I think it is the duty of every patriot and every Christian to give no countenance to these vile things; and every man that drinks intoxicating liquor is only assisting to support 40,000 men who break every Lord’s day, by destroying the bounties of Providence, by converting them into a most destructive and pernicious drink. And I think that a man that would not gie up the use o’ a thing that is baith useless and unnecessary, for the sake o’ his suffering fellow creatures, is nae man ava.
T. Ye really gang a great length wi’ your teetotalism, ye seem to think it will be a general salve for a’ the distresses and sufferings with which we are afflicted; but I doubt, John, tho’ we were a’ teetotlars the nicht, it wadna better our condition a bawbee, in the present awfu’ state o’ things; we’re gae an’ weel teetotal’d the noo, and that sair against our wills.
J. Nae thanks to you for that kin’ o’ teetotalism, that’s no the genuine principle; besides, I am sure, if we were a’ pledged, and sterling to the cause, we wad soon see a different state o’ things, for I am quite convinced it wad be a general salve for a’ our distresses. In the first place, it would prevent 45 millions bushels of good grain from being destroyed every year, which would have a great tendency to cheapen our food, enabling us to manufacture our goods at a cheaper rate, and to cope with other nations, and completely put a check to the evil workings of the Corn Bill; and besides all this, the miseries and crimes, the misfortunes and calamities, the lunacy and suicide, the Sabbath desicration and a thousand other evils would almost entirely vanish from among us.
T. Really John, ye seem to hae’t a’ by the back, and I must confess, there’s a good deal o’ truth in what ye say; but what wad become o’ our puir revenue if we were a’ to drap drinking, there wad be a bonny cry out then, for we hae facht enough to get the win’ rais’d as it is.
J. Weel Thomas, to be plain wi’ you, I think the kintra is quite blin’ on that subject; I ken vera weel we hae great revenue aff drink, nae less than 16 millions, but folk never think o’ the frightsome expense that thae liquors bring on us, mair I believe, than a’ they produce. See the tremendous Jails, Hospitals, and Asylums we hae to support; see the Judges, the Sheriffs, the Fiscals, and the awful army o’ Policemen we hae to pay; see the Criminals we hae to feed; the host o’ Witnesses and Lawyers which must be paid for prosecutions and trials; and the enormous sums levied from us in the character of Rogue Money and Prison Money; see the thousands paid for support of our criminal Colonies, for Freight of Vessels to send them to these Colonies no less than 86000 being paid last year for that purpose;—then say whether or not our country is benefitted by the revenue produced from these destructive drinks.