Oh, how great is the goodness of God to me! I have been to-day keeping thanksgiving in my closet and in the sanctuary; though having extra duties, I have found much time to pour out my soul in thanksgiving to God. I have been looking back upon the sea of providential mercies and noting the most prominent ones, but oh, it is all mercies. The trials have brought forth mercies. I should never have known what God is if He had not known my soul in adversities. He has been around my path in the daytime, my couch at night.
Nov. 7, 1886.
This has been to me a most interesting, peaceful, and solemn Sabbath. It is with us a day of Sacrament. At the conference yesterday I chose this subject for my remarks: “Open thou thy mouth and I will fill it.” It touched every chord of my soul. Indeed, I have of all persons to open my mouth wide, for my necessities are very great. The purport of the whole text and context is that of a Being so magnificent in all His attributes, so infinite in His fulness, that we may, and are encouraged to, ask great favors. And on the strength of it, after looking over the record of God’s mercies in my journal for the past six years, I went to the altar where I have administered the communion and threw myself upon the mercy of God and opened my mouth wide and asked Him for His name’s sake through Christ to put me in a way of paying my debts that are such a dishonor to His cause, as I have consecrated my labor to Him and work only for daily bread and to pay my debts.... I also asked Him to grant me His Holy Spirit to interpret aright the indications of His providence, for I surely do not wish to be a revelation to myself. I cannot judge of their bearing on the present or the future. His written revelations would be a sealed book to me without His spirit, and so will the unwritten of His providence. I can see that preparation for another year may have very important bearing on my stay here and on my attempting to write a book: two things which have sadly perplexed me, and which I am waiting and praying for the providence of God to solve, as He has by His providence solved so many other things and brought me out of so many difficulties which in prospect seemed insurmountable. I feel now glad that Mr. Kendall did not come for me to preach at Bowdoinham, though I sadly needed the money; for I feel that I have seen my Father’s face, and I mean to mark the way by which He leads me and take every step with prayer. God, in mercy withhold me from attempting or even desiring to work any deliverance of my own. I now prepare for the evening service.... I have just returned. The meeting was full of young people. I certainly have no reason to complain of my audience, though they may have of me. God bless them. I do not dread this week so much as I did. God grant my first thought may be directed to Him. Glory to God for this pleasant Sabbath.
Sept. 29, 1887.
Rose early, prayed, and gave thanks. Hauled in the forenoon all the rocks required. Mr. Getchell finished at noon. In the afternoon I took him to Brunswick, paid him, got my lime and sand, and got home by dark. I have knelt down beside the wall that is now finished and humbly thanked God for doing this kindness to me, for He has done it. Blessed be God for the mercies of this day.
Oct. 25, 1887.
Rose early. Prayed at the hearthstone and the threshold. John came. We sawed, split, and hauled the wood. The old house windows surprised him. We then prepared the horses, and at noon John went home. Though pressed with work, I felt prompted to go to the burnt tree and went to that and to the old maple and thanked God and prayed for little Frank. Made my fires and the company began to come. They poured in with full hands and warm hearts to the number of eighty or more. Surely God’s dealing with me in most unthought-of ways. Glory to God for the mercies of the twenty-fifth of October.
April 25, 1889.
This has been the day of the National Fast, but has been more of a thanksgiving than a fast to me, although I have abstained from food and striven to humble myself before God.
Nov. 25, 1889.