'What news? what news? your tidings tell—
Tell me you must and shall—
Say why bareheaded you are come,
Or why you come at all?'
Now Gilpin had a pleasant wit,
And loved a timely joke;
And thus unto the calender
In merry guise he spoke:
'I came because your horse would come;
And, if I well forebode,
My hat and wig will soon be here—
They are upon the road.'
The calender, right glad to find
His friend in merry pin,
Returned him not a single word,
But to the house went in;
Whence straight he came with hat and wig;
A wig that flowed behind,
A hat not much the worse for wear,
Each comely in its kind.
He held them up, and in his turn
Thus showed his ready wit:
'My head is twice as big as yours,
They therefore needs must fit.
'But let me scrape the dirt away
That hangs upon your face:
And stop and eat, for well you may
Be in a hungry case.'
Said John: 'It is my wedding-day,
And all the world would stare
If wife should dine at Edmonton,
And I should dine at Ware.'
So turning to his horse, he said:
'I am in haste to dine;
'Twas for your pleasure you came here,
You shall go back for mine.'
Ah, luckless speech, and bootless boast!
For which he paid full dear;
For, while he spake, a braying ass
Did sing most loud and clear;