When General Schenck was United States minister to England, the wife of a British cabinet officer assured him that “England made America all that she is.” “Pardon, madam,” said the general, “you remind me of the answer of the Ohio lad in his teens who, attending Sunday school for the first time, was asked by the teacher, ‘Who made you?’ ‘Made me?’ ‘Yes.’ ‘Why, God made me about so long (holding his hands about ten inches apart), but I growed the rest.’”
Opposite Effects
“The matrimonial fever seems to be raging in this vicinity,” said a smart young man to a young lady in a street car.
“Are you sure it only seems to be?” said she, not wishing to commit herself.
“It is raging about as bad as the yellow fever in the South last year,” said he, further pushing his opportunity.
“Yes,” she replied, in a utilitarian tone of voice, “but it has just the opposite effect upon the population.”
Maternity
“I never could bear children,” said a crusty old maid to Mrs. Partington. “Perhaps, if you could, you would like them better,” mildly replied the old lady.
Date of Possession
“Don’t you think,” said a husband, mildly rebuking his wife, “that women are possessed by the devil?” “Yes,” was the quick reply, “as soon as they are married.”