“Ha! ha!” said Bob. “Now I’ve one for you. I found it one day in the paper. Which is the longest word in the English language?”
“Valetudinarianism,” said Tom, promptly.
“No, sir; it’s smiles, because there’s a whole mile between the first and the last letter.”
“Ho! ho!” cried Tom, “that’s nothing. I know a word that has over three miles between its beginning and ending.”
“What’s that?” asked Bob, faintly.
“Beleaguered,” said Tom.
Philological Contrarieties
A gentleman, having an appointment with another who was habitually unpunctual, to his great surprise found him waiting. He thus addressed him: “Why, I see you are here first at last. You were always behind before, but I am glad to see you have become early of late.”
The Aspirate
When Mr. Justice Hawkins of the English Queen’s Bench was a leader at the bar, he appeared in a shipping case before the late Baron Channel, who was a little shaky with his aspirates. The name of the vessel about which the dispute had arisen was Hannah; but Hawkins’s “junior,” in utter desperation, said to him, “Is the ship the Anna or the Hannah, for his lordship says one thing and every one else says another?” “The ship,” said Hawkins, in reply, “was named the Hannah, but the H has been lost in the chops of the Channel!”