Charles. You've got me, old man. You'll have to come again. I may be slow, but I don't for the moment see the necessity for your taking anything.
Thief. I was afraid of this. I'll have to begin farther back. Look here now, just suppose I go away and don't take anything [with an air of triumph]. How would you like that?
Charles. Suits me to a "T." How about you, my dear? Think you can be firm and bear up under it?
Thief. Don't be sarcastic. You're too big. Only women and little men should be sarcastic. Besides, it isn't fair to me, when I'm trying to help you. Here am I, trying to get you out of a mighty ticklish situation, and you go and get funny. It isn't right.
Charles. Beg pardon, old man. Try us in words of one syllable. You see this is a new situation for us. But we're anxious to learn.
Thief. Listen, then. See if you can follow this. Now there's nothing in your house that I want; nothing that I could for a moment contemplate keeping without a good deal of pain to myself.
Clara. We're trying to spare you. But if you care to know, we had the advice of Elsie de Wolfe.
Thief [wonderingly]. Elsie de Wolfe? Elsie, how could you! Now, if you had asked me to guess, I should have said—the Pullman Company. I shudder to think of owning any of this bric-a-brac myself. But it must be done. Here am I offering to burden myself with something I don't want, wouldn't keep for worlds, and couldn't sell. [Growing a little oratorical.] Why do I do this?
Charles. Yes, why do you?
Clara. Hush, Charles; it's a rhetorical question; he wants to answer it himself.