Gammer Gurton's Needle

by Unknown

[And give him a good blow on the buttock.

Hodge. Gog's heart! thou false villain, dost thou bite me?
Baily. What, Hodge, doth he hurt thee ere ever he begin?
Hodge. He thrust me into the buttock with a bodkin or a pin.

[He discovers the needle.

I say, gammer! gammer!
Gammer. How now, Hodge, how now?
Hodge. God's malt, gammer Gurton!
Gammer. Thou art mad, ich trow!
Hodge. Will you see the devil, gammer?
Gammer. The devil, son! God bless us!
Hodge. Chould, [if] ich were hanged, gammer—
Gammer. Marry, see, ye might dress us—
Hodge. Chave it, by the mass, gammer!
Gammer. What, not my nee'le, Hodge?
Hodge. Your nee'le, gammer! your nee'le!
Gammer. No, fie, dost but dodge!
Hodge. Ch' a found your nee'le, gammer, here in my hand be it!
Gammer. For all the loves on earth, Hodge, let me see it!
Hodge. Soft, gammer!
Gammer. Good Hodge!
Hodge. Soft, ich say; tarry a while!
Gammer. Nay, sweet Hodge, say truth, and not me beguile!
Hodge. Cham sure on it, ich warrant you; it goes no more astray.

Gammer. Hodge, when I speak so fair, wilt still say me nay?
Hodge. Go near the light, gammer, this—well, in faith, good luck!—
Ch'was almost undone, 'twas so far in my buttock!
Gammer. 'Tis mine own dear nee'le, Hodge, sikerly I wot!
Hodge. Cham I not a good son, gammer, cham I not?
Gammer. Christ's blessing light on thee, hast made me for ever!
Hodge. Ich knew that ich must find it, else chould a' had it never!
Chat. By my troth, gossip Gurton, I am even as glad
As though I mine own self as good a turn had!
Baily. And I, by my conscience, to see it so come forth,
Rejoice so much at it, as three needles be worth.
Doctor Rat. I am no whit sorry to see you so rejoice.
Diccon. Nor I much the gladder for all this noise;
Yet say, "Gramercy, Diccon!" for springing of the game.
Gammer. Gramercy, Diccon, twenty times! O, how glad cham!
If that chould do so much, your masterdom to come hither,
Master Rat, Goodwife Chat, and Diccon together,
Cha but one halfpenny, as far as ich know it,
And chill not rest this night, till ich bestow it.
If ever ye love me, let us go in and drink.
Baily. I am content, if the rest think as I think.
Master Rat, it shall be best for you if we so do,
Then shall you warm you and dress yourself too.
Diccon. Soft, sirs, take us with you, the company shall be the more!
As proud comes behind, they say, as any goes before!
But now, my good masters, since we must be gone,
And leave you behind us here all alone;
Since at our last ending thus merry we be,
For Gammer Gurton's needle sake, let us have a plaudite.

FINIS.

Gurton. Perused and Allowed, &c. Imprinted at London, in Fleetstreate, beneath the Conduite, at the signe of S. John Euangelist, by Thomas Colwell, 1575.

[The device of Thomas Colwell, the printer of "Gammer Gurton's Needle.">[

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