BEFORE AND AFTER
BY CHARLES T. GRILLEY
Before
We had been engaged for just a week
And now that we must part
The thought of it was maddening,
And it nearly broke my heart.
As I waved her adieux from the steamer
She answered back from the pier,
And I murmured softly to myself,
"My, but isn't she dear!"
After
A year has passed of married life,
I received a note to-day
Written in wifey's well-known hand:
"Send me fifty right away!"
I thought of all she had cost me
During that one brief year,
And then I murmured softly,
"My, but isn't she dear!"
WHEN GREEK MEETS GREEK
ANONYMOUS
Stranger here? Yes, come from Varmount
Rutland county. You've hern tell
Mebbe of the town of Granville?
You born there? No! sho! Well, well!
You was born at Granville was you?
Then you know Elisha Brown,
Him as runs the old meat market
At the lower end of town!
Well! well! well! Born down in Granville!
And out here, so far away!
Stranger, I'm homesick already,
Tho it's but a week to-day
Since I left my good wife standin'
Out there at the kitchen door,
Sayin' she'd ask God to keep me;
And her eyes were runnin' o'er!
You must know ole Albert Withers,
Henry Bell and Ambrose Cole?
Know them all? And born in Granville!
Well! well! well! Why, bless my soul!
Sho! You're not old Isaac's nephew!
Isaac Green, down on the flat!
Isaac's eldest nephew,—Henry?
Well, I'd never thought of that!
Have I got a hundred dollars
I could loan you for a minute,
Till you buy a horse at Marcy's?
There's my wallet! Just that in it!
Hold on tho! You have ten, mebbe,
You could let me keep; you see
I might chance to need a little
Betwixt now and half past three!
Ten. That's it; you'll owe me ninety;
Bring it round to the hotel.
So you're old friend Isaac's nephew?
Born in Granville! Sho! Well, well!
What! policeman, did you call me?
That a rascal going there?
Well, sir, do you know I thought so,
And I played him pretty fair;
Hundred-dollar bill I gave him—
Counterfeit—and got this ten!
Ten ahead. No! you don't tell me!
This bad, too? Sho! Sold again!
MR. POTTS' STORY
BY MAX ADELER
While I was over at Jersey City, the other day, I called on the Potts. Mr. Potts is liable to indulge in extravagance in his conversation, and as Mrs. Potts is an extremely conscientious woman where matters of fact are concerned, she's obliged to keep her eye on him. Potts was telling me about an incident that occurred in the town a few days before, and this is the way he related it: