Mother—"Some people are perlite, I must say. Parties might be'ave as ladies when they come in the Pit! It's a pity her 'usband can't teach her better manners!"
Father—"'Im teach her! 'E knows better. 'E's got a Tartar there, 'e 'as!"
The Owner of the Hat—"Sam, are you going to set by and hear me insulted like this?"
Her Husband (turning round tremulously)—"I—I'll trouble you to drop making these personal allusions to my wife's 'at, sir. It's puffickly impossible to listen to what's going on on the stage, with all these remarks be'ind!"
Father—"Not more nor it is to see what's going on on the stage with that 'at in front! I paid 'arf-a-crown to see the Pantermime, I did; not to 'ave a view of your wife's 'at!.... 'ere, Maria, blowed if I can stand this 'ere game any longer. Jimmy must change places again, and if he can't see, he must stand up on the seat, that's all!" (Jimmy goes back and mounts upon the seat.)
A Pit-ite Behind Jimmy (touching Jimmy's father with an umbrella)—"Will you tell your little boy to set down, please, and not to block the view like this?"
Father—"If you can indooce that lady to take off her 'at, I will, but not before. Stay where you are, Jimmy."
The Pit-ite Behind—"Well, I must stand myself then, that's all. I mean to see somehow!" (He rises.)
People Behind (sternly)—"Set down there, will yer?" (He resumes his seat expostulating.)
Jimmy—"Father, the man behind is a-pinching of my legs!"