Giuseppe, da Barber, ees great for "mash,"
He gotta da bigga, da blacka mustache,
Good clo'es an' good styla an' playnta good cash.
W'enever Giuseppe ees walk on da street,
Da people dey talka "How nobby! How neat!
How softa da handa, haw smalla da feet."
He raisa hees hat, an' he shaka hees curls,
An' smila weeth teetha so shiny like pearls;
Oh, many da heart of da silly young girls
He gotta,
Yes playnta he gotta—
But notta—
Carlotta!
Giuseppe, da Barber, he maka da eye,
An' lika da steam-engine puffa an' sigh
For catcha Carlotta w'en she ees go by.
Carlotta she walka weeth her nose in da air,
An' look through Giuseppe weeth far-away stare,
As eef she no see dere ees som'body dere.
Giuseppe, da Barber, he gotta da cash,
He gotta da clo'es an' da bigga mustache,
He gotta da silly young girls for da "mash."
But notta—
You bat my life, notta—
Carlotta;
I gotta!
THE VASSAR GIRL
BY WALLACE IRWIN
"Oh, Martha's back from Vassar,"
Said farmer James McCassar:
"O Martha, come into the house and mix a batch of bread."
But Martha's accents fluttered
As she murmured, as she stuttered,
"I have studied the satanic
Ways of bacilli organic,
And it throws me in a panic, pa, to mix a batch of bread."
Chorus
At Vassar-oh, at Vassar-oh,
That's what we learn at Vassar!
We love our Alma Mater so
We do not like to sass 'er.
We have a superstition
There's nothing like the damsel with the dear old Vassar V.
"Oh, Martha's back from Vassar,"
Said farmer James McCassar:
"O Martha, go out to the barn and milk the brindle cow."
But Martha cried: "Oh, bother!"
As she faced her poor old father,
"With golf I love to tussle
And with basket-ball to hustle—
But I haven't got the muscle to subdue the brindle cow."