Miss De B.—"Strawberry—and a fork!"
Mrs. E.—"Chocolate and strawberry—spoon, of course, waiter. I suppose you know that."
Waiter—"Ice-cream? Yes, ma'am. We ain't got nothin' only verniller, ma'am. Yaas'm—all out of everythin' only verniller. What'll it be, ladies?"
By permission of Puck. New York
A-FEARED OF A GAL
ANONYMOUS
Oh, darn it all! a-feared of her,
And such a mite of a gal;
Why, two of her size rolled into one
Won't ditto Sister Sal!
Her voice is sweet as the whippoorwill's,
And the sunshine's in her hair;
But I'd rather face a redskin's knife,
Or the grip of a grizzly bear.
Yet Sal says: "Why, she's such a dear,
She's just the one for you."
Oh, darn it all! a-feared of a gal,
And me just six feet two!
Tho she ain't any size, while I'm
Considerable tall,
I'm nowhere when she speaks to me,
She makes me feel so small.
My face grows red, my tongue gets hitched,
The plagued thing won't go;
It riles me, 'cause it makes her think
I'm most tarnation slow.
And tho folks say she's sweet on me,
I guess it can't be true.
Oh, darn it all! a-feared of a gal,
And me just six feet two!
My sakes! just s'pose if what the folks
Is saying should be so!
Go, Cousin Jane, and speak to her,
Find out and let me know;
Tell her the gals should court the men,
For isn't this leap-year?
That's why I'm kind of bashful like,
A-waiting for her here.
And should she hear I'm scared of her,
You'll swear it can't be true.
Oh, darn it all, a-feared of a gal,
And me just six feet two!