Young 'uns! Bee-ull! Jake! Mar'ann! Jule!
(Wal' durn my orn'ry skin!
They've gone ter sleep agin,
Fur all my tellin'!)
See hyar, I hain't no time ter fool!
It's the las' warnin'
I'll give this mornin'.
I'm done yellin'!
Git up! Git up!
Solus
Wal, whut's th' odds—an hour, more or less?
B'lieve it makes 'em stronger
Ter sleep a leetle longer
Thar in bed.
The time is comin' fas' enough, I guess,
When I'll wish, an' wish 'ith weepin'
They was back up yender sleepin',
Overhead,
Ter git up.
PAT'S REASON
ANONYMOUS
One day I observed in a crowded horse-car,
A lady was standing. She had ridden quite far,
And seemed much disposed to indulge in a frown,
As nobody offered to let her sit down.
And many there sat who, to judge by their dress,
Might a gentleman's natural instincts possess,
But who, judged by their acts, make us firmly believe
That appearances often will sadly deceive.
There were some most intently devouring the news,
And some thro' the windows enjoying the views;
And others indulged in a make-believe nap,
While the lady still stood holding on by the strap.
At last a young Irishman, fresh from the "sod,"
Arose with a smile and most comical nod,
Which said quite as plain as in words could be stated
That the lady should sit in the place he'd vacated.
"Excuse me," said Pat, "that I caused you to wait
So long before offerin' to give you a sate,
But in troth I was only just waitin' to see
If there wasn't more gintlemin here beside me."
QUIT YOUR FOOLIN'
ANONYMOUS
Girls is queer! I used to think
Emmy didn't care for me,
For, whenever I would try
Any lovin' arts, to see
How she'd take 'em—sweet or sour—
Always saucy-like says she:
"Quit your foolin'!"
Once a-goin' home from church,
Jest to find if it would work,
Round her waist I slipt my arm—
My! you'd ought 'o seen her jerk,
Spunky? well, she acted so—
And she snapt me up as perk—
"Quit your foolin'!"
Every time 'twas just the same,
Till one night I says, says I—
Chokin' some I must admit,
Tremblin' some I don't deny—
"Emmy, seein' as I don't suit,
Guess I'd better say good-by
An' quit foolin'."
Girls is queer! She only laughed—
Cheeks all dimplin'; "John," says she,
"Foolin' men that never gits
Real in earnest, ain't for me."
"Wan't that cute? I took the hint,
An' a chair, an' staid, an' we
Quit our foolin'.