[4.] A Scholar of Oxford having wore out the Heels of his Boots, brought them in his hands to a Cobler, and shewing him them, said, O thou curious Artificer, that hast by no small pains and study, arrived to the perfection of that exquisite art of repairing the defects of old decayed Calcuments, affix me two Semicircles to my Suppeditors. The Cobler stared upon him, as if he would have looked him through; but a little recovering himself, said, Before George, Sir, I understand not your hard Language: but if I put on two Heel pieces, I'll have a Groat for them.
The same Scholar being asked by a Porter for a Gentleman's Chamber in the Colledg, he directed him thus, you must crucifie the Quadrangle, and ascend the Grades, and you will find him perambulating in his Cubicle, near the Fenester. Pray Sir, says the Porter, what is that Fenester? It is, replies the Scholar, the Diaphonous part of an Edifice, erected for the Introduction of Illumination, which so amazed the Porter, that at first he did not know what to think, till recovering himself, he went and enquired of another, who gave him plainer directions, in more intelligible terms.
A Caution for Scolds
or
A True Way of Taming a Shrew.
To the tune of Why are my eyes still flowing.
This may be printed R.P.
[30.]A Noble Man he Marry'd with a cruel Scold,
Who in her humours would ne'r be controul'd,
So that he was almost a weary of his Life,
By the cross humours of his froward Wife:
Although he shewed himself exceeding kind,