[26.] Says a Fellow that had lost one of his Ears at Newcastle, for no goodness 'tis thought; when one told him a Story, 'Tis in at one ear and out at t'other. By my truth, says the other, then there's a great deal of wonder in the travel of these Tales, for thy two Ears be two hundred Miles asunder.
[52.] A Certaine Gentleman in Lincolneshire, being also a Justice of Peace, had an old servant many yeares called Adam Milford, who upon a time came unto his Master, and desired him, in regard that he had been his servant so many yeares, hee would now give him somthing to help him in his old age. Thou sayest true, quoth his Master, and I will tell thee what I will doe. Now shortly am I to ride up to London; if thou wilt pay my costs & charges by the way, I will give thee, ere long, such a thing as shall be worth to thee an hundred pounds. I am content, quoth Adam, and so payed for all their reckoning by the way. Being come to London, hee put his Master in mind of his former promise that he had made to him. What did I promise thee anything? Yes, quoth Adam, that you did; for you said you would give me that which should be worth to me an hundred pounds, for bearing your Charges to London. Let me see your writing, quoth his Master. I have none, quoth Adam. Then thou art like to have nothing, quoth his Master; And learne this of me, that when thou makest a bargain with any man, looke thou take a Writing, and beware how thou makest a Writing to any man. This hath availed me an hundred pounds in my dayes. When Adam saw there was no remedy, he was content; but when they should depart Adam stayed behind his Master to reckon with his Hostis, and on his Masters Scarlet cloake borrowed so much mony, as came to all their charges he had laid out by the way. His Master had not ridden past two miles, but it began to raine apace: wherefore he called for his cloake. His other men made answer that Adam was behinde, and had it with him. So they shrowded them under a tree, till Adam came. When he came, his Master said all angerly, Thou knave, come give me my cloak: hast thou not served me well, to let me be thus wet? Truely, Sir, (quoth Adam) I have laid it to pawne for all your charges by the way. Why, knave, quoth he, didst thou not promise me to beare my charges to London? Did I? quoth Adam; I, quoth his Master, that thou didst. Let's see, shew me your writing of it, quoth Adam. Whereupon, his Master perceiving he was over-reacht by his man, was fain to send for his cloak againe, and pay the money.
There was a singular mania in this century for chronograms, or making up dates out of words, which will be best explained in the annexed example. Jas. Hilton, Esq., has by dint of vast trouble and research, been enabled to collect a large quantity of these, and his book[104] (of which only a very limited number were printed) will well repay the perusal of the curious.
Chronogramma. Anno 1628. obiit
GeorgIVs DVX BVCkInghaMIæ
[67.]Malignant characters that did portend
Duke-murthering Fate & his untimely end,
Constrain'd to die, that would have liv'd & fought
Xantippus like, but that fell Felton brought