Printed for the Assignes of Thomas Symcocke.
[169] ? Martin Parker.
[77.] In the Country Tarlton told his Hostesse he was a Conjurer. O, Sir (sayes she) I had pewter stolne off my shelf the other day, help me to it, and I will forgive you all the pots of Ale you owe mee, which is sixteene dozen. Sayes Tarlton, To morrow morning the Divell shall help you to it, or I will trounce him. Morning came, and the Hostesse and he met in a roome by themselves. Tarlton, to passe the time with exercise of his wit with circles and tricks, fals to coniure, having no more skill than a dogge. But see the iest, how contrarily it fell out: as he was calling out, mons, pons, simul & fons, and such like, a Cat (unexpected) leapt from the gutter window, which sight so amazed Tarlton, that he skipt thence, & threw his Hostesse downe, so that he departed with his fellowes, and left her hip out of joynt, being then in the Surgeons hands, & not daring to tell how it came.
[4.] One ask'd a Fellow if he would go into the Water with him: No, says he, I'll never go into the Water till I have learnt to Swim.
[26.] A Woman accidentally coming into the room where they were, and hearing them speak of that Frost[170] in Germany, told some such stories; but when she saw the Company began to scruple at the truth of it (which I wonder they did, if they consider but her following discourse) then she up and told them That her dear and loving Husband, peace be with him, was in that great Frost, out late one night, which, truly, Gentlemen, I believe was the occasion of his death; though he lingred Fourteen or Fifteen years after it; he, I say, riding that night, came to a Common, where were great store of very good Cole-pits, insomuch that he fell down to the bottom in one of them, and his Horse fell directly upon him; that it was impossible at that time of night, and in such weather, to be relieved in that great distress; and, having lain so for a long time, and no hopes to be relieved at all, he presently bethought himself, and immediately rose, and went to the next Village, and there borrowed a Pickaxe and a Spade, and then came back with 'em to the Pit, and first digged out himself, and then his Horse, and so about Five a Clock in the Morning came home; but so weary and so cold, that he could not unbutton his Doublet: Nay, says she, after I had hope (sic) him off with all his Cloaths: he was so benumb'd, that I was forc'd to take a Warming Pan of hot Coles, and so went all over his body, yet was he so cold, that he scarcely felt, though the Warming Pan sometimes stood a pretty while together in one place; which truly, Gentlemen, I was fain to do for my Dear Husband: which confirmed them in the belief of it, that it was as true as any of the rest, and gave her thanks for it also, and so she made them half a dozen reverend Courchys and bid 'em good by.
[170] See [ante], p. 259. (Footnote 160)
On a Cobler.
[5.]Death at a Coblers doore oft made a stand,
And alwaies found him on the mending hand;
At last came death in very foule weather,