[4.] A certain King being sick, one pray'd that he might reign as long as the Sun and Moon should endure, and the Prince his Son after him.
[4.] Some Scholars having a spight against their Master, because of his Harshness to them, resolved to play him some trick; so knowing him to be a very Curious neat Man, they daubed the Railes of the Stairs with some Tar. Now the Master coming down in the Dark, laid his Hands in it, which set him into a terrible feu'd; so he call'd all his Schollars, and took them into strict Examination; but, suspecting one above the rest, he was very sharp upon him, urging him to confess it, telling him he did it. The Boy utterly denied it; but the Master was the more pressing upon him. Indeed, said the Lad, with all the Asseverations imaginable, I did it not, but if you please, I'll tell you who had a hand in it: Hereupon the Master thought to have found out the Truth, and so very eagerly asked him who? Your Worship, Sir, says he: Whereupon he was dismissed, with the applause of all his Fellows, for his Ingenuity.
[26.] In a discourse at Table, wherein they chiefly treated of strange things, and one among them said, that he had a piece of the Hawthorn Tree in a Box, which always bloom'd on Christmass day for many years together, and at last was robb'd of it by some of the Parliament Forces, and could never get it again. Why, says one, how could it live and bloom as you say without some earth, or the Sun's influence? Why, says he, d'ye think if it have that vertue to bloom on Christmass-day, that it had not the vertue also to bloom without the help of the Sun or earth? and so let out some Oaths to confirm it.
But another being by, to fit him in his Story; and to make it appear to be truth (as you know it was) began to confirm what t'other had said, with some Oaths too. For, says he, I my self have seen that Haw thorn Tree bloom a hundred Christmas-day, and if I were to say a Hundred more, I should not lie; and I went once thither, when they were come to the Berries, which were red, large and hard; and so took some of them, and button'd me a Suit and Coat with it, as the fashion is now (for you know our fashion in England for Cloaths never alters) and when I and some others were at Church together upon Christmass day in the morning, little thinking of it, about Ten of the Clock precisely (he swore) that the branches sprung out so fast and so thick, that he was covered all over with them; insomuch that he lookt as if he had been in a Wood, and so heavy they were upon him, that he could not stir till one went out of the Church and fetcht an Axe, and cut away all the Boughs, that he might see his way out; and when they had done, he went home in this posture to his lodging; and swore also, that there was as much Wood cut off, as serv'd him all that Winter for fewel to his Chamber; but however, says he, I had rather be at the charge of the Wood than to be served so agen. But Gentlemen I tell you this to confirm what that worthy Gentleman told you before: whereas you were in doubt for a great while whether it was truth or no: but I hope there's no doubt now: and so swore it agen.
[78.] One demanded of a wild yong Gentleman the reason why he would sel his land? who answered because he hoped to go to heven, which he could not possibly do til he forsook earth.
[91.]Learning hath fed me, yet I know no letter,
I have liv'd among books, yet am never the better:
I have eaten up the Muses, yet I know not a verse,
What student is this, I pray you rehearse?
Resolution, A Worme bred in a booke.