The boys were also taught to use sharp repartee, seasoned with humour, and whatever they said was to be concise and pithy. For Lycurgus, as we have observed, fixed but a small value on a considerable quantity of his iron money; but, on the contrary, the worth of speech was to consist in its being comprised in a few plain words, pregnant with a great deal of sense: and he contrived that by long silence they might learn to be sententious and acute in their replies. As debauchery often causes weakness and sterility in the body, so the intemperance of the tongue makes conversation empty and insipid. King Agis, therefore, when a certain Athenian laughed at the Lacedæmonian short swords, and said, "The jugglers would swallow them with ease upon the stage," answered in his laconic way, "And yet we can reach our enemies' hearts with them." Indeed, to me there seems to be something in this concise manner of speaking which immediately reaches the object aimed at, and forcibly strikes the mind of the hearer. Lycurgus himself was short and sententious in his discourse, if we may judge by some of his answers which are recorded; that, for instance, concerning the constitution. When one advised him to establish a popular government in Lacedæmon, "Go," said he, "and first make a trial of it in thy own family." That again, concerning sacrifices to the Deity, when he was asked why he appointed them so trifling and of so little value, "That we might never be in want," said he, "of something to offer him." Once more, when they inquired of him, what sort of martial exercises he allowed of, he answered, "All, except those in which you stretch out your hands." Several such like replies of his are said to be taken from the letters which he wrote to his countrymen: as to their question, "How shall we best guard against the invasion of an enemy?"—"By continuing poor, and not desiring in your possessions to be one above another." And to the question, whether they should enclose Sparta with walls, "That city is well fortified, which has a wall of men instead of brick." Whether these and some other letters ascribed to him are genuine or not, is no easy matter to determine. However, that they hated long speeches, the following apophthegms are a farther proof. King Leonidas said to one who discoursed at an improper time about affairs of some concern, "My friend, you should not talk so much to the purpose, of what it is not to the purpose to talk of." Charilaus, the nephew of Lycurgus, being asked why his uncle had made so few laws, answered, "To men of few words, few laws are sufficient." Some people finding fault with Hecatæus the sophist, because, when admitted to one of the public repasts, he said nothing all the time, Archidamidas replied, "He that knows how to speak, knows also when to speak."
The manner of their repartees, which, as I said, were seasoned with humour, may be gathered from these instances. When a troublesome fellow was pestering Demaratus with impertinent questions, and this in particular several times repeated, "Who is the best man in Sparta?" He answered, "He that is least like you." To some who were commending the Eleans for managing the Olympic games with so much justice and propriety, Agis said, "What great matter is it, if the Eleans do justice once in five years?" When a stranger was professing his regard for Theopompus, and saying that his own countrymen called him Philolacon (a lover of the Lacedæmonians), the king answered him, "My good friend, it were much better, if they called you Philopolites" (a lover of your own countrymen). Plistonax, the son of Pausanias, replied to an orator of Athens, who said the Lacedæmonians had no learning. "True, for we are the only people of Greece that have learned no ill of you." To one who asked what number of men there was in Sparta, Archidamidas said, "Enough to keep bad men at a distance."
Even when they indulged a vein of pleasantry, one might perceive that they would not use one unnecessary word, nor let an expression escape them that had not some sense worth attending to. For one being asked to go and hear a person who imitated the nightingale to perfection, answered, "I have heard the nightingale herself." Another said, upon reading this epitaph,
Victims of Mars, at Selinus they fell,
Who quench'd the rage of tyranny—
"And they deserved to fall, for, instead of quenching it, they should have let it burn out." A young man answered one that promised him some game-cocks that would stand their death, "Give me those that will be the death of others." Another seeing some people carried into the country in litters, said, "May I never sit in any place where I cannot rise before the aged!" This was the manner of their apophthegms: so that it has been justly enough observed that the term lakonizein (to act the Lacedæmonian) is to be referred rather to the exercises of the mind, than those of the body.
Nor were poetry and music less cultivated among them, than a concise dignity of expression. Their songs had a spirit, which could rouse the soul, and impel it in an enthusiastic manner to action. The language was plain and manly, the subject serious and moral. For they consisted chiefly of the praises of heroes that had died for Sparta, or else of expressions of detestation for such wretches as had declined the glorious opportunity, and rather chose to drag on life in misery and contempt. Nor did they forget to express an ambition for glory suitable to their respective ages. Of this it may not be amiss to give an instance. There were three choirs on their festivals, corresponding with the three ages of man. The old men began,
Once in battle bold we shone;
the young men answered,
Try us: our vigour is not gone;
and the boys concluded,