155. Some Gentlemen going into a noted Bawdy-House Tavern at Charing-Cross, found great Fault with the Wine, and sending for the Master of the House, told him, it was sad Stuff, and very weak: It may be so, said he, for my Trade don't depend upon the Strength of my Wine, but on that of my Tables and Chairs.
156. A Gentleman coming to an Inn in Smithfield, and seeing the Hostler expert and tractable about the Horses, asked, how long he had lived there? And What Countryman he was? I'se Yerkshire, said the Fellow, an ha' lived Sixteen Years here. I wonder reply'd the Gentleman, that in so long a Time, so clever a Fellow as you seem to be, have not come to be Master of the Inn yourself. Ay, said the Hostler, But Maister's Yerkshire too.
157. The late Colonel Chartres, reflecting on his ill Life and Character, told a certain Nobleman, that if such a Thing as a good Name was to be purchased, he would freely give 10,000 Pounds for one; the Nobleman said, it would certainly be the worst Money he ever laid out in his Life. Why so, said the honest Colonel, because, answered my Lord, you would forfeit it again in less than a Week.
158. A seedy [poor] half-pay Captain, who was much given to blabbling every thing he heard, was told, there was but one Secret in the World he could keep, and that was where he lodged.
159. Jack M——n, going one Day into the Apartments at St. James's, found a Lady of his Acquaintance sitting in one of the Windows, who very courteously asked him, to sit down by her, telling him there was a Place, No, Madam, said he, I don't come to Court for a Place.
If the gentle Reader should have a Desire to repeat this Story let him not make the same Blunder that a certain English-Irish foolish Lord did, who made the Lady ask Jack to sit down by her, telling him there was room.
160. A certain Lady of Quality sending her Irish Footman to fetch Home a Pair of new Stays, strictly charged him to take a Coach if it rained for fear of wetting them: But a great Shower of Rain falling, the Fellow returned with the Stays dropping wet, and being severely reprimanded for not doing as he was ordered, he said, he had obey'd his Orders; how then, answered the Lady, could the Stays be wet, if you took them into the Coach with you? No, replyed honest Teague, I knew my Place better, I did not go into the Coach, but rode behind as I always used to do.
161. Tom Warner, the late Publisher of News Papers and Pamphlets, being very near his End, a Gentlewoman in the Neighbourhood sending her Maid to enquire how he did, he had the girl tell her Mistress, that he hoped he was going to the New-Jerusalem; Ah, dear Sir, said she, I dare say the Air of Islington would do you more good.
162. A Person said the Scotch were certainly the best trained up for Soldiers of any People in the World, for they began to handle their Arms almost as soon as they were born.
163. A Woman once prosecuted a Gentleman for a Rape: Upon the trial, the Judge asked if she made any Resistance, I cry'd out, an please you my Lord, said she: Ay, said one of the Witnesses, but that was Nine Months after.