1015. An Irish journal announced the accouchement of her grace the Duke of Dorset. Next day it was thus corrected: For “her grace the Duke of Dorset,” read “his grace the Duchess of Dorset.”
1016. One evening, Tom Sheridan, after sitting with his father over a bottle, was complaining of the emptiness of his pocket. The right honourable manager told him jocularly, to go on the highway. I have tried that already, said he, but without success. Ah! how? replied the father. Why, resumed he, I stopped a caravan full of passengers, who assured me they had not a farthing, as they all belonged to Drury Lane Theatre, and could not get a penny of their salary.
1017. A man meeting his friend, said, I spoke to you last night in a dream. Pardon me, replied the other, I did not hear you.
1018. An eccentric barber, some years ago, opened a shop under the walls of the King’s Bench prison. The windows being broken when he opened the house he mended them with paper, on which appeared—'Shave for a penny,’ with the usual invitation to customers; and over the door was scrawled these lines:
Here lives Jemmy Wright,
Shaves as well as any man in England,
Almost—not quite.
Foote (who loved anything eccentric) saw these inscriptions, and hoping to extract some wit from the author, whom he justly concluded to be an odd character, pulled off his hat, and thrusting his head through one of the paper panes into the shop, called out, Is Jemmy Wright at home? The barber immediately forced his own head through another pane into the street, and replied, No, sir, he has just popped out. Foote laughed heartily, and gave the man a guinea.
1019. A fellow had to cross a river, and entered the boat on horseback; being asked the cause, he replied, I must ride, because I am in a hurry.
1020. Pray, Mr. Abernethy, what is the cure for gout? asked an indolent and luxurious citizen. Live upon sixpence a day, and earn it! was the pithy answer.